• Lara Flanagan

Bloody Kevin

Updated: Jun 10, 2021

Bloody Kevin

‘Twas not long, in lovely Tenterfield, that the kids and I had dwelled,

We had our little cottage, there was only one thing from us withheld.

The cottage had a lemon tree planted by Pa Jack,

But I felt it needed a puppy running out the back.

The kids and I were city slickers, only new to country life.

Surely a little puppy would not get us into strife.

We looked high and low for a treasured pup, I had a thing for Border Collies.

But a dog I simply could not find, it seemed this search was just a folly.

Finally one evening, right after the Tenterfield Show.

I was having a drink at the Royal and someone they did know.

Of a station down in Emmaville with some dogs they did not need,

It seemed I was going visiting, it was immediately agreed.

The next morning the kids and I headed south in our city car.

To get our treasured puppy, the drive was not really very far.

We arrived at the station and it seemed that all hell broke loose.

There were dogs, and sheep, it was raining, there was even a mad goose.

From the shed through the mud and rain, there came a dog that seemed possessed

I knew in an instant, that this was our dog, I could have guessed.

His eyes were mad, one brown one blue, he seemed to like to jump

He covered us with mud, and for a moment I was stumped

I could not leave this dog behind, you see they’d named him Bullet

Because if we didn’t take him, his life would end, I had to do it.

I told the kids, that that lightning rod that had covered us with mud.

Was our new dog, they looked at me, and I wondered what I had done.

The farmer’s wife, she brought the dog to our home the very next day

The Koolie with his crazy markings, he eyed us off and I did pray.

That he would find a happy home with the chooks and kids and me,

I loved him yet, with his blue merle coat, I knew the kids would agree

That with this dog our little home would become our tiny heaven

Then Archie said in a voice out loud, Mummy let’s name him Kevin.

Our next door neighbour Noddy came to check out all the fuss

“Did I just hear his name is Kevin, that’s bloody ludicrous”

I looked at Noddy and and patted Kevin on the head

“Noddy, it’s a good name for him, he was almost close to dead.”

I told Noddy we were going to walk him, every day down by the creek

I asked him if I could walk his dog Nell, he looked at me as if a freak.

He was a little gobsmacked, then laughed so hard he lost control,

He told me that he’d never heard of a working dog going for a stroll

The following day, the kids and I set off with Kevin and Nell

It wasn’t long before everything, simply went to hell

Both dogs were useless on a leash and as we crossed Rouse Street

I realised that Nell, well Nell…….. she was on heat.

We were just behind The Corner, a café in the centre of town

When Kevin must have got the scent, and he began to run around

Then suddenly he mounted Nell with enthusiasm from behind

I was struck with horror and wished that I was completely blind.

The kids looked at Nell and Kevin, then at me with consternation

The time had come for me to start their sexual education.

Just as I was dealing with two kids who were completely shocked

I saw that Kevin and Nell…. well Kevin and Nell were locked.

I said to Kevin, bad dog, bad dog but he ignored me that’s for sure.

He was attending to his task with a certain zest and fervour

While the dogs circled, joined at the hips, in the centre of the town,

Several utes passed by us, there were hoots, and yells, I felts a clown.

What seemed like a lifetime later, Kevin finally finished the job

He and Nell separated, he acted like a doggy heart throb.

We walked home, subdued with, our heads bowed very low.

The kids were shocked, I was gobsmacked, but Kevin was aglow.

Obviously Noddy new what he was on about.

A working dog on a stroll? Just stupid, of that there was no doubt.

It was shortly after that, that Noddy passed away.

Fond memories of Noddy, with us would always stay.

Some two months later, I thought that Nell was getting fat,

Maybe those walks were good for her, I never considered that

Her tummy was growing larger, because she was now in pup.

Then one afternoon, I heard Noddy’s nephew, it made my ears perk up.

Over our fence, he said out loud, “thank god Noddy is in heaven”

Because I know what he would say and that is Bloody Kevin.”

The Kids and I raced next door and saw that Nell had had a litter.

Six gorgeous little puppies - to me they could not be any cuter.

Five of them were Border Collies, they looked just like their mum.

But one of them, had crazy markings, one eye blue, one eye brown.

A gift of Kevin’s virility was his daughter Rosie.

Along with chooks and rooster, our little world was truly cosy.

Our cottage in Tenterfield was really quite complete

It was filled with love and laughter and the sound of crazy feet.

Those two mad eyes that stared at me, helped create our piece of heaven

And every time I looked at him, I simply said Bloody Kevin.

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