The simple tomato

So after a year or so of deciding that I was going to become the best vegan there ever was I stopped.   It was as simple as that.  It was equivalent to slapping myself on the face several times and giving myself a good talking to.   And in giving myself that very good talking to, I looked at a lot more then just the hell I was putting myself through with becoming a vegan goddess.   I was actually dealing with my wellness lifestyle in the same way I had dealt with most of my life.  Like an anal obsessive maniac.  I had to stop buying the books, looking at gorgeous vegans who made amazing things with ingredients I could not find.  I had to stop looking for something that I could not achieve, I had to admit to myself that I hated kale. I had to look at why I was doing this.  Because it was my best option for a long and fruitful life. That was it.  Then I looked a few other things.

I looked at the fact that I sometimes could not get off the computer even though I had two gorgeous twins who were dying to play a game.  The problem with working from home is that there is no official knocking off time, but you know what, work could wait.  I had started taking daily pictures of the beautiful area I lived in for work, I stopped looking it as work, and realised it was like a gift. Like spending every morning looking for something beautiful.   The more I looked around me, the more I fell in love with the beautiful area of the world I lived in.

I can remember one day I was hungry and literally could not be bothered to make a vegan super meal and all I had in the fridge was some tomatoes. So I cut them in half, liberally sprinkled them with salt and took them outside to sit in the sun with my dogs.  I was not remotely interested or excited in what I was about to eat.   I actually sat there with Kevin and Rosie and forgot about everything for a while.  I was having a day when the word tired made me laugh.  I wished I could be just tired rather than exhausted.  Fatigue was my constant enemy at the time.  When I finally bit into those sun warmed tomatoes it was like a revelation.  There was the flavour I had been looking for.   That was the sort of taste that made me want to cry with sheer contentment.  They were amazing.   They tasted so bloody good.  Then I thought stuff it, work can wait and I lay on the grass in my backyard and fell asleep in the sun.

In that instant I had all the colour, taste, flavour and love that I needed.  I knew then it was about going back to basics.

All because of a beautiful tomato.